NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU have your act together in other ways, the whole show can come tumbling down when it's shaken by any one of three interferences: ego, women and partners. Let's look at these -- first things first.
EGOS
Now that you're back home after your first rendezvous with destiny, everything seems to have changed.
The people you have suddenly become so aggravatingly ordinary. You start to view them as an irritating herd of pathetic sheep, doing as they are told, doing what is expected, following someone, anyone, blindly. You can't believe how dumb your friends have become, and your respect diminishes for people you once held in awe.
You too have become different. You recognize that you made some mistakes, but you know what they were, and they will never plague you again. Next time (and you know there will be a next time), there will be no hesitation, no fear.
Your experience in facing death head-on had taught you about life. You have the power and ability to stand alone. You no longer need a reason to kill.
When the guys all get together and the bullshit starts to flow, you find it hard to listen to their tales of how tough they like to think they are., Their threats to "get" this person or that become as irritating, yet harmless, as a swarm of gnats on a hot summer afternoon.
You stifle the urge to tell them how life really is. you control your anger at their pretension of being capable of carrying out the threats they make. you resist the impulse to laugh at the statements they take so seriously.
Your friends sense your irritation but don't understand what has set you apart. You begin to shun social gathering and bullshit sessions. You spend more time studying and accumulating and testing your tools while you wait for the next job opportunity to present itself.
You find yourself making it a point to become on friendly terms with anyone who can be of use to you. Anyone who you feel has something worthwhile to offer in the advancement of your career. Your mind is like a sponge, you eagerly soak up any rumors about available weapo0ns, new combat techniques and the like.
Like the great white shark, you have become an lone predator. Your ego is the greatest burden you will carry from this day forth.
You have feelings and emotions that you might need to share with some understanding person. The things you have learned about life are important. you may wish to pass them on to someone you care about. When the bullshit starts to flow, you may feel compelled to set the record straight and tell those morons how it really is. When someone starts to brag in confidence, about something he's done, the intimacy of the moment, the shared confessions, may inspire you to do a little bragging of your own. Or you may want to overawe some new woman in your life with your masculinity and you feel the urge to shock her just a little by hinting at your true profession.
Start now in learning to control your ego. This means, above all, keeping your mouth shut! You are a man. Without a doubt, you have proved it. you have come face to face with death and emerged the victor through your cunning and expertise. You have dealt death as a professional. You don't need any second or third opinions to verify your manhood.
Don't brag. Don't boast. Don't hint at what you know or what you have done. Don't confide in your girlfriend, your wife, or your best buddy. Only insecure bores must build themselves up by other people's opinions.
The way you use and display the money you made will also be a reflection on your ego. If you have never before had this much cold hard cash at one time, it may be burning a hole in your pocket. Should you let it flow like water, in keeping with your decision to enjoy yourself while you can instead of accumulating wealth?
Part of that money should be put away for living expenses and overhead. You never now how long you will go between job, and you do need to stock up on the best equipment available. Some of it can be spent purchasing items you never could afford before. But the things you can buy of have special limits.
Unless you have additional sources of income to justify large expenditures like a new home, paying off an old mortgage, or a new sports car, don't spend any of your earnings on big items of this type. Big expenditures arouse suspicion, not only of your family and friends, but of the IRS and the authorities if you should ever come under investigation.
Sure, it would make you feel good to walk in and pay for a new $2,m500 stereo set with hundred dollar bills. And flashing around that kind of money in a bar might get he immediate attention you desire from the best looking woman there. But control is the key now. It is far better to have a wallet filled with old twenties than questionable new hundred dollar bills.
Just remember: you are secure within yourself. You don't need to impress anyone else in any way, shape, or form.
If you have been living in a small, unimpressive apartment, stay there for the time being. Later you will learn meth9ods for legally changing your lifestyle to fit your income. But the changes must be gradual, not overnight, conspicuous moves. If you have regular job, keep working at it for a while to substantiate the source of the money you are spending.
The money you made is rightfully yours. The risks you took, the dangers you faced, and the fact that you carried it all off successfully prove you earned it. But unless you have always carried and flashed large sums of cash and enjoyed the finer things of life, free spending and extravagant purchases now will arouse suspicion and start tongues wagging.
In short, don't change your lifestyle dramatically unless you can justify your sudden increase in wealth.
WOMEN
because of their uncanny ability to get into places and situations a man might find hard to duplicate, because of their deceitful, "game-playing" natures, and because a woman can be twice as vicious as a man, a woman can be a better hired executioner than a man.
Fortunately for the world, a woman usually makes only one man her target, and the nesting instinct quickly takes her off the street and ties her down to the little world of babies, laundry and housework she creates and protects for her own. Unfortunately, even a hit man cannot deny that what women have to offer is a basic necessity.
A married man who becomes a hit man for hire, or a single professional who alter ties the knot of matrimony, faces a whole set of woman problems peculiar in themselves. Once a woman becomes the proclaimed property of one man, she feels it her duty to ward off other predators, whether real or imaginary, through suspicion, jealousy, accusation, or even by becoming her own detective to protect and preserve her rightful place. A married professional is then placed in the predicament of either telling his wife everything -- or nothing. And either way, she will have to be a very understanding woman.
For if she knows too much, she could become his own enemy on the face of the earth and may someday have to be eliminated in the name of self-preservation.
And if she knows too little, her suspicious, jealous nature could lead to more snooping and following and conjecture on her part than is healthy -- for either of them.
I read an account in the newspaper recently about a man who was accused and later convicted of murdering the state's witness against him in another trial. It seems he lured this witness into taking a ride with him under the pretense of having no hard feelings about the testimony that was about to go down. instead, he took the would-be state's witness to desolate rock quarry, blew his head off with a shotgun close range, and then tossed him into an alligator filled pit.
From another spot, he called his wife to come get him. In the car on the ride home, he told his wife about what he had done, bragging about his cunning to lure the mark to his death. The sympathetic wife listened, glad that the death of the witness would surely save her husband from spending time in prison.
Later, the only person the wife told about the incident was her mother. And the only person the mother told about the incident was her son.
A few months later, the wife caught her husband in bed in a compromising situation in the family boat with a naked woman. She fired a few shots over the heads of the two lovers and the police came.
In her hurt and anger at his infidelity after making her an accomplice to his crime, she told the authorities about the murder.
the moral of the story is that if you choose to be tied to one woman, make sure she is capable of being your partner in crime. Share with her the fruits of your joint efforts equally and keep reminding her in subtle ways that, if detected, her part in any conspiracy is just as great as yours.
Never let your roving eye of hunger for a little something strange on the side come to her attention. Woman are highly emotional, rarely rational creatures. Is ten minutes of pleasure worth your life at the hands (or tongue) or an irate spouse?
In the true story above, the man who killed the witness and confided in his wife probably really did love his wife. He probably would've never considered telling the woman on the boat about the murder, The first thing he didn't count on was getting caught with the other woman, and the jealous rage and accusation that ensued. The second things he didn't count on was his wife confiding in her mother -- and her mother confiding in a son -- all of which came out in testimony at court, resulting in his conviction.
Ideally, a professional hit man will remain single. He will either purchase his sexual pleasures or participate in impersonal one night stands. his involvement with woman will only be on a sexual level. He will not live with them nor will he let invade his privacy. In most cases, they won't even know his real name.
And he will never have any encounters while on a job assignment -- neither casual nor purchased.
As a man, I appreciate as much as anyone a good-looking body and a warm, willing smile on a woman. As a professional, however, that seems to have lost some of its thrill as I've moved on to bigger, more exciting and more dangerous prey.
PARTNERS
Ironically, the best professional partner you can have is a woman. But she has to Ben a full-time partner, and she has to have the following qualifications:
From such a woman, you can expect:
Unfortunatly, not too many such women exist. And those who do will be hard to find since, by necessity, they will be as cautious and untrusting as you are.
Some women have these latent qualities, but are in need of someone like you to bring them out and perfect them. If you are interested in forming such a relationship, check for lone women who sign up for mercenary training classes,. visit gun shows, and now their weaponry. Or look for her among those hearty, fanatical individuals who make up survival groups. She could be anywhere, though, so while you're feeling a good woman up, feel her out also -- if you're interested in adding a permanent partner. And good luck!
Assuming you have been fortunate enough to find your HMIW (Hit Man's Ideal Woman), you will, from time to time, require a partner to assist you on a particular job. The need may arise due to the mark's use of bodyguards or other defensive procedures, an inaccessibility that must be overcome through diversion, or even language barrier.
Whatever the reason, the partner you select will be a man you can trust and who can be depended on to cover your back. He will meet the same rigid requirements you have set for yourself and will not be lacking in basic common sense. He will be discreet and not a braggart. He will be self-assured to the point that you won't have to worry about his ego. He will be totally business-minded while doing business and will not be sidetracked by women or other pastimes. And when the job is going down, he willingly pump one or two of his own bullets into the mark to ensure equal responsibility.
Whgether male or female, you partner is equal to fifty-fifty compensation. Everything should be fifty-fifty. Equal pay for equal risk and equal responsibility. This is an insurance measure for both of you.
Generally, a professional prefers to work alone. But when a partner is required, the same caution must be used as in controlling one's ego and electing one's woman. "Patience is a virtue," my grandmother used to say, and patience is something a hit man needs plenty of. Not only will you require3 patience while you are stalking your prey and waiting for the right moment to make your kill, but also in areas like feeling out the potential employer and looking for a suitable partner. You may be on pins and needles, anxious for the next job to come along or for a partner you can trust.
These things don't come overnight. If you meet someone who seems as radical as you, test him over a period of time in your own subtle way to see if he really measures up. Gut first impressions can't be relied on here.
Give him a while to prove himself,. See how free he is with his conversation. How much does he know about weapons? Is he emotionally stable? How does he handle his personal life? Is it a shambles of bad relationships and creditors knocking on his door>
How a man thinks, lives and acts is just as important as his marksmanship and fighting ability. And many an insecure fool needing to prove his manhood will give the impression of being capable to assist you. Beware!